


Crash Course

by Zaphrina



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M/M, OT3, Other, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 14:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2072307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaphrina/pseuds/Zaphrina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crash course [noun]<br/>: a class in which a lot of information is taught in a short period of time.<br/>EDIT<br/>: a class taught by a non-professional to 95 y/o super soldiers with a serious need for a history lesson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cape Canaveral and Coffee

 

"I appreciate this, really, but are you sure we need to go to Florida?" Steve asked his slightly eccentric pop culture 'professor.'

"Look, Steve, do you want to hear me talk to you day after day about those guys who went to that place and did this, this, and that? Because I can get a desk and a ruler if you want me to reenact Catholic school." Darcy leveled her gaze upon his own and while he waited for her to continue, he realized that she was waiting for a response. He shook his head with a twitch of his lips and tried not to smile.

"No, I don't want that."

"In that case, Tony has a jet ready and we're going to Florida... Like right now," she grasped his wrist and dragged him (he could have broken free if he really wanted to... but Darcy was a new face in this new world that he was becoming quite fond of) outside and onto a jet that she assured him (at his persistent questioning) had a duffel bag with both of their necessities should they need anything. _Anything_ included an inhaler on the very slim chance that his asthma returned (even though it was more likely for Darcy to have an asthma attack,) a bag of instant coffee powder, several bottles of water, Steve's suit, a change of clothes for the both of them, and Darcy's extra taser (her SHIELD-issued one was kept somewhere on her person at all times, or so he was informed.)

'Moon Landing' was fourth on Steve's 'To-Do' list of things to learn, after I Love Lucy and (upon Sam's request) both Marvin Gaye and James Brown. Steve was actually quite a fan of the jazz/r&b sounds they both offered (he really loved I Heard it Through the Grapevine, even though he thought it was pretty sad in retrospect...)

So, once Darcy had found out about his list, she (literally) threw out Coulson's core curriculum and focused on what seemed really important, for example: James Brown vs. General Yogurt and his fail with the Native Americans. (Steve gave Darcy a look at that and she had to begrudgingly explain that his name sounded like Custard... It was probably Custer... but he was an idiot and not worth his or her time. So, Steve had Wikipedia'd him later in the evening which had lead to the dreaded Wikipedia vortex and Darcy had to block the website from his laptop so he wouldn't freak out anymore after finding himself on the page listed for 'Prince Albert.')

They arrived at Cape Canaveral and explored the launch site, to which Darcy supplied random facts about the arcnet from Men in Black III which they had to watch on the ride back to New York at her insistence.

"So, you can cross off Moon Landing and Men in Black," Darcy smiled at him and headed to the labs. "Come find me tomorrow and we can talk about the Berlin Wall!" she ran off to bring Jane food since she was incompetent at any form of eating or resting while she was sciencing.

* * *

 

Steve and Darcy met up every day to help catch him up, and after a month of endeavoring to fill him in, they'd covered Berlin, the rise of Apple, Pisco (Darcy hated the stuff,) Thai food (every night, Darcy loved the stuff and Steve did too,) Nirvana, and Rocky (because she only liked the first two so she only watched those two with Steve.)

It was about that time when they were watching Revenge of the Sith (Steve was a closet Star Wars geek and only needed to be educated in the ways of the Jedi - lucky for him, Darcy was a self-proclaimed Master,) that Steve went out on a mission to bring the Winter Soldier back to the tower. Needless to say: everyone avoided the former James Barnes like he carried the plague. Yet again needless to say: Darcy was against stereotyping and always made it her job to talk to him.

It was in that way that Bucky added himself onto the roster of people taking Darcy's Pop Culture class. The evening Steve brought himself and a very beat up, dirty Bucky back, Darcy coerced them to watch the entirety of the Star Trek TV and movieverse (yes the old ones and the ones with Chris Pine) in her little apartment. She'd fallen asleep hours before, but had instructed Steve the order to watch them just in case she did fall asleep. So, he and Bucky (with Darcy asleep on the arm of the couch) watched all of Star Trek until they wanted to Vulcan death grip each other to put themselves out of their misery...

"How do you not like it?" Darcy asked them incredulously the next morning on her way in from a coffee run. There was caramel and coffee running down her fingers, but science waited for no woman. Steve was helping her carry her other things to the labs.

"I don't know, young Kirk _seems_ like a good leader to me, but he's too impulsive and takes too many risks. He cares about his team to a fault and that's a hindrance in the field," Bucky snorted when he walked up to them and heard that. Steve jerked - that was the first time Bucky laughed since they found him.

"Sounds like someone I know," Darcy let out a breathy giggle and let Steve stew over that when she ran into the labs with poptarts and coffee to share. Bruce, Tony and Jane were working together on some sort of new portal, the bi-frost had never been the same since Thor broke it and he was stuck on Earth when he needed to be looking for his crazy brother.

* * *

 

Days at the lab were easy in theory but complicated in practice. Darcy had to feed and water the science people until it was bedtime, then herd them out of the labs to go to sleep. It wasn't as easy as it sounded. SHIELD was no longer an organization, so Darcy's paycheck was decimated, leaving her to cater to the geniuses all day and work at a diner during the graveyard shift.

* * *

 

Winter was her favorite season because she could shamelessly wear oversized sweaters everywhere - including the tower, which is why Tony noticed her new clothing choices immediately. She absolutely adored being all teachery and helping the good Captain and his angsty best friend learn about modern society and culture (all while wearing sweaters and jeans,) but spending every day with two beautiful super soldier men took its toll on a single woman. Darcy was proud of her curves and decided that she would have to sway Bucky with her feminine charms. He would be easier to weaken with her charms, though her sixteen year long crush on CAPTAIN FREAKING AMERICA had never subsided... Well she'd get to that when it came up.

With that in mind, she used her new Tony-Stark-approved paycheck (because she complained about the drug dealers living in the apartment below her, honestly, who can live off of a wage that tiny?) to quit her crappy diner job and update her cat-lady-esque wardrobe and give it a face lift. Of course, only for work, because there was no way she wearing anything fancy in her own room (now comfortable on her floor of the Stark Tower thank-you-very-much.)

For that reason, she strutted (yes, she _absolutely_ gave herself a pep talk before she walked down the stairs) down to the sciencey lab floor in a fine pair of high-waisted black trousers with a frilly red blouse (only the top two buttons undone, modesty worked wonders on old-fashioned men) that she absolutely did not match to her cherry red lipstick, no sir! In any case, she found a pair of those cute Oxford heels that would only make her three inches taller because damn, she didn't need to tower over everyone. And lastly, her trusty SHIELD taser was kept in her cardigan pocket. She felt so... powerful! If wit and confidence were her native languages, then she was going to to quickly acquaint herself with power, killer heels, and possibly Mandarin Chinese because it was becoming the most spoken language in the world...

* * *

 

"Jane! Breakfast is important!" Darcy scrambled around the lab after the skinny scientist with hot poptarts bouncing between her hands. Tony was only just arriving (because Jane sneaked back in around four in the morning) and looked at the two women briefly before doing a very comical double-take when faced with Darcy's new style, and greatly appreciating it.

"Darcy, I am three hours away from connecting this portal to Asgard, I need to do this! No time!" and much to Tony's amusement, Darcy shoved Jane into a seat and put the poptarts into her boss' hands before fixing her with a cold glare. Jane opened her mouth to speak, but closed it, Darcy obviously not in the proper mind to argue. (Tony thought it might be her heels annoying her and when he asked she replied with a comment about him trying to walk around with an ass as big as hers weighing down on shoes with heels the width of her fingernail... Tony shut up and got to work.)

After feeding the science people, Darcy found herself already exhausted and left the cardigan in the lab (carrying her taser in hand) to walk to the kitchen. She didn't expect to find Steve -in uniform- scrambling about ten eggs and Bucky -shirtless and in sweatpants- frying bacon.

"Well, isn't this a sight a girl could get used to," Darcy smiled from the doorway and the both of them looked up, Steve blushing and Bucky smirking, (Darcy noticed that he was getting more comfortable around Steve and her, she liked it.)

"I could say the same, darlin'," Bucky gave her a cheeky wink but was soon brought back to frying his bacon with his angsty-teenager face back on.

"You do look very nice," Steve smiled and shook salt and pepper on the eggs.

"Thanks! Think you two could share a bit of that delicious looking breakfast with me?" she asked, giving her best puppy eyes and sweet smile. They never stood a chance. So, they spent the morning eating heaps of eggs and bacon, until Darcy had to go watch over the geniuses again.

Operation Get the Winter Soldier and Captain America into Bed at the Same Time has been commenced. (Even if she admitted to herself that maybe she also wanted to go out on dates with them and cuddle on the couch while watching Big Bang Theory and explaining all of the little 20th century jokes... but that could wait.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darcy/Steve/Bucky is my all time OT3, and I absolutely love the reactions and emotions she has the chance to bring out in the both of them with her Pop Culture 'lessons!'  
> This is also my first work on AO3, so tell me what you think!


	2. Sandstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team has a DDR tournament and Steve comes to terms with his friends' feelings for each other.

 

"Alright, Steve. I'm gonna give Tony the reigns on this one, it's his expertise." Steve blanched a bit at Darcy's words and looked at the smirking man next to her. "Next on the list is AC/DC. When Tony gets annoying come back here and I'll get into Steve Irwin and Amelia Earhart."

"But she died before I did..." he scratched his head and Darcy chuckled.

"I know, but there's a new one."

"There's a new one...?" Tony walked a very confused Steve out of the room and into his own lab to instruct the man about the rock genre in itself.

* * *

 

"What is this?" Steve unwrapped the chocolate and looked at it before taking a bite and immediately smiling at the taste.

"It's a Tim Tam, my second favorite non-American sweet treat." Darcy scrunched her face up and looked over at Bucky who was enjoying his own Tim Tams. "Is it wrong to give Captain America an Australian biscuit?" He nodded. "Have I corrupted you?" Steve nodded. "Thought so. Oh well. Happy Hippos are next!"

After sweets came Skippy the Bush Kangaroo and BBC Sherlock (Darcy's obsession with Jim Moriarty intrigued Bucky but freaked Steve out.)

* * *

 

Their least favorite lesson was Aokigahara, the suicide forest. It made Steve sick to his stomach just thinking about it, so Darcy quickly moved on to Dance Dance Revolution. 

"What  _are_ you doing?" Natasha asked the next day. Sam, Darcy, Steve and Bucky were all trying extremely hard to beat each other at Dance Dance Revolution. Sam was trying to push Steve over, and Bucky was flirting with Darcy to mess her up. She tried to focus on her moves while simultaneously admiring how far Bucky has come since his arrival.

"Sweetheart, I have been playing this game for twelve years. Your sweet talking isn't going to mess me up," he laughed wholeheartedly and continued his antics even after she won all rounds of the dancing game.

The event turned into a full out tournament when Coulson's team joined them at the tower. Agents Ward, May and Simmons were knocked out in the first round and were assigned beverage duty. 

Bruce was next, beaten by Jane who was soon beaten by Agent Fitz. The last four were Coulson, Darcy, Natasha and Tony. 

"You're going down Tin Man!" Darcy managed to quip while furiously dancing to Sandstorm, and Tony huffed, wiping sweat off of his forehead.

"Remember, I sign your paychecks!"

"Actually, I do," Coulson laughed and Tony shrugged (if you can shrug while stomping and jumping.) 

Natasha was eerily silent but she managed to even look graceful while stomping and jumping.

"I'm betting on Tasha," Clint called and she smirked, but Thor bet on Odin's eye patch (in less certain words) that Lady Darcy would beat all of the other mortals. 

Nearing the end, Natasha and Tony were dropping points and it was Darcy against Coulson (and the Avengers against the other Agents, all of them drunk on Asgardian ale.)

"Phil, I'm still mad you took my I-Pod, which is why I - Am - Going - To - Kick - Your - Skinny - Ass!" She punctuated every word with a _Perfect!_  move and when the song ended, she won by a landslide. 

"Reasons Lewis is a better agent than all of you," Clint grinned and (to their credit) everyone else just laughed and agreed. Except Ward, he was a party pooper.

* * *

 

"What does that mean?!" Steve groaned and Darcy laughed at him and Bucky.

"It doesn't mean anything, it's just provocative!"

"How is that provocative? Hips can't lie or tell the truth. They're hips!" Steve was getting frustrated at Shakira and Bucky couldn't stand it. At the sound of his best friend's laughter Steve glared and pouted quietly. 

"What's next?" he grumbled.

"One of my personal favorites: The Beatles!" 

"I know who they are!" Bucky smiled and fist pumped the air.

"I don't," Steve was still a bit melancholy but he did enjoy some of the music. Bucky liked Eleanor Rigby and he  _loved_ Octopus' Garden for some reason... But Steve was more a fan of those like When I'm Sixty Four and Rocky Raccoon. Darcy then introduced them to the Anthologies and sent them on their merry ways.

"Okay," Darcy started the next evening. The three of them were sitting around her round dinner table eating Thai when she suddenly became serious. Bucky suspected this wasn't a 'you're about to die' serious but one of her more 'if you eat my Rocky Road ice cream I will kill you' serious. He could deal with that. "We've brushed over the surface of American, European, and Asian history. We've covered popular music (the stuff on the radio nowadays isn't worth studying.) We've gone over TV shows, sports, movies, but we're about to delve into the heart of all history: literature. DUN DUN DUUUUN!" Darcy's straight face turned into a glare when both of her friends started laughing. "Let me remind you I took out the God of Thunder with electricity. I will not hesitate if you mock books ever again." That quieted them a bit, but not fully. "Lord of the Rings and their movies are first, then Harry Potter. Are you ready?"

"I think the question is... Are you?" Bucky winked, but was soon reminded of how out of his depth he was when Darcy began telling them about all of the books they NEEDED to read. (Namely: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, The Maze Runner, any and all Stephen King books, The Old Man and the Sea, and lastly: A Song of Ice and Fire. However, she said she was saving the historical one for last (her new favorite non-fiction) The Monuments Men.

When the boys departed, they both ended up in Steve's room, discussing their odd friend.

"Who knew she was such a reader?" Steve asked.

"Well, things are different now, kid. Who's to say all beautiful dames don't like reading now? It can't just be Darcy." When Bucky smiled just thinking about her, a little piece of his heart broke off and floated away.

* * *

 

Steve was a man from a different time, but even then, he knew that everyone in this world was equal, no matter what everyone else thought. When he was a kid, skinny guys like himself weren't equal to guys like Bucky. He was made aware that sometimes colored people  _still_ aren't considered equal. Even now, in this day and age, women were still looked down upon. And in theory, he could  _sort of_ understand that, because in the beginning this country was created by big, strong, smart white men, but that's not how it is anymore. The one thing he can't get over is his country's hate of gays. He knew how taboo it was in the 1940's, but this was 2014 for crying out loud! People could legally do drugs and two men couldn't get married?

It upset Steve to no end. He wasn't really gay, not in the sense that people immediately think. He used to think he was straight, because of Peggy. But whenever he looked back into his younger years, he couldn't tell if it was Bucky who he'd had eyes on before he's even met the woman. Was he gay? He'd never talked to anyone about it, but he was sure there was a name for it, because Steve was never interested in men or women the way he was interested in Peggy and Bucky. But, he thought maybe he'd come to love them for who they are... Regardless of anything else. Peggy made him proud, she was strong and commanding and kind. Bucky was... He was his best friend til the end of the line... He took care of him and they would always be there for eachother... He'd have to Google it later... [I've been informed this falls under the broad category of panromantic or biromantic]

Anyway, his love for Peggy was useless now, but he would always remember her fondly... Seeing Bucky again hit Steve like a ton of bricks. All of the pain of his loss brought to the surface, but it was accompanied by years of remembered love of his best friend and watching him on double dates and wishing that maybe he could be someone like Bucky, able to protect who he loved. And he was now... He could protect Bucky, and in turn Bucky would protect him. Like always. And Darcy... If Steve was flame: pure and simple, and Bucky was magma running hot and smooth under the surface... Then Darcy was a solar flare. She was straight with everyone and told them how it was. When Bucky came along, she sidled up next to him and when he wouldn't talk for days, she poked and prodded him with her charming smile, quick wit and a little bit of using her curves to soften his resolve. She was quick to get in your face but even quicker to defend her friends. The residents of the tower were her family and he loved every teasing and awkward second with her.

Unfortunately, Bucky was probably straight as a ruler and Darcy... He was almost sure Darcy had eyes for Bucky... And Buck deserved someone kind like her. He needed her.


	3. Science People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have a serious talk; Hulk makes a brief appearance.

"Where's Steve?" Darcy asked Bucky one morning the next week.

"On a mission," he grumbled, obviously put out by his missing friend. Darcy moved up next to him and grabbed the carton of orange juice out of the fridge and stood next to him, her knee length skirt swinging across and brushing his bare legs. (Did he always walk around in boxers and a t-shirt?)

"How long?" She knew Bucky wasn't yet fit to be on the team so he couldn't join Steve.

"Indefinite."

"Want some breakfast? You're heating up a pan with nothing in it..." he looked up suddenly when she cracked five eggs into the giant pan and softly hip-bumped him out of the way. She could tell he was admiring her outfit (especially when he rubbed the fabric of her long-sleeved blouse between his fingers with a smile.) She originally wanted to dress to impress, but she found the old fashioned style worked wonders on her curves, making her look soft and classy. Once she made a giant omelette, she cut it in half and plated the pieces. One for her and one for Bucky.

He groaned when the smooth eggs and cheese touched his tongue and gave Darcy a devilish look.

"Why didn't you tell us you could cook? Steve and I are decent but we could have been eating gourmet breakfasts every day!" she smiled at him and shrugged.

"I can't share my talents with everyone, you know," she winked and he marveled at her full laugh. "I took an elective cooking class while I was studying Poli-Sci. It payed off."

* * *

 

"Hey, Buck!" Darcy found him later that day and he smiled when he saw her. He'd come to the labs to find Tony and fix up his arm again (night terrors were a very real thing for him, and it wasn't uncommon for him to smash his fists against lots of things.) He smiled softly at her and waved before heading over to Tony.

"What's up?" Tony looked away from his work and nodded when Bucky showed him his busted hand, the joints crushed and metal plates shifted into the wrong places. After ten minutes of tinkering and muttering, he looked back at the soldier. "Not that I can't fix this, because I can, but how the Hell did you do that?" Bucky grunted and flexed his fingers until Tony got back to work.

None of this went unnoticed by Darcy, and when he made for the exit, she followed him and tugged him aside outside of the labs.

"What's up?" she asked with a small smile.

"Nothing, Darce," she smiled at his nickname but quickly put on a stern face.

"Steve isn't here to talk to you about bottling your emotions so I'm gonna do it. I might be good at it, you know?" at his exasperated face she trudged on. "Look, Buck. You might not want to talk to me about it but you have to pick someone. And maybe I'm no Steve, but I'm also never second best. I can give fancy speeches and be heroic but I'm better at being brutally honest and I want you to tell me what had you up last night making all that noise," he cringed at that, not knowing anyone had heard him knocking about his room.

"It was the fall this time. I remember a train, snow and then... the ground..." he groaned and leaned his back against the wall, closing his eyes. "And I know that at some point after that, they took me..." he shuddered, but tensed when he felt her soft arms wrap around his stomach, and her head resting against his chest.

It gave her hope when he eventually wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair, finally taking a deep breath in and relaxing with his exhale.

* * *

 

Steve was two days into his mission when Bucky called him late at night.

"Rogers here," he answered, trying to shake the raspy sleep sound from his voice.

"Hey punk, I have a situation," Bucky's voice made him sit up in bed, he turned the light on and leaned against the headboard.

"What is it?"

"Darcy..." Steve cringed but asked what happened. "She... Well I had another dream... She... God she looked so beautiful. I think she's doing it on purpose, Steve. Dressing like a dame from our time. And she looks so good! And she asked me about it... The dream that is. I don't know, kid. She's all I can think about... But..." Steve jerked at that word.

"What do you mean 'but?'" Steve interrupted and Bucky sighed on the other end.

"I could never... I'm dangerous. I'm bad for her... And..." he started mumbling and Steve only caught the last bit: "Wish I could talk to you about this in person..."

"It seems like it needs to be discussed now so..." Steve trailed and Bucky breathed deep when he realized Steve hears his quiet murmur, and sniffed before beginning.

* * *

 

"Steve... God damn it!" Bucky growled and let out all of his feelings in a rush of words, though he meant to start out calmly. "I love you. I loved you when you were a skinny boy who didn't walk away from a fight, I loved you when you rescued me from HYDRA the first time, I didn't know you when I saw you again but I felt something... And getting to know you again... I love you still. And I will love you until the day I die. Steve I want... I'm here til the end of the line. I still don't know if you're interested, and we're brothers in arms... But maybe we could be something else too. This isn't me asking you to go dancing or share a dame with me... This is me, James, telling you, Steven, that it doesn't matter to me what precisely we're labeled as, but I'm gonna be here with you until you don't want me here anymore.

"And Steve I'll be damned if I lie to you, but I think I'm in love with Darcy too." Steve's breath hitched and his heart pounded. "She's got bite, and God if she reminds me of the good old days." Steve chuckled here and nodded to himself. "Curvy in all the right places, feisty, classy and boy does she love to dance. She... And you... God Steve, buddy will you say something?" Bucky groaned and his best friend took a moment to collect his thoughts.

"Bucky... I love you, too. God how long I've waited to say that (another breathy chuckle,) but I wish I could say it to you face to face. And yes, I have definitely noticed Darcy. She is... wonderful. I've spent hours just drawing her in my sketch pad, she's beautiful. Bucky, what happens now?"

"Well..." Steve could hear his witty friend coming back, mushy emotions long gone. "I'm all for a threesome." Steve choked and had to go get a glass of water before returning to the phone. Bucky did't think before the words exited his mouth, and Steve was even more surprised to hear it.

"Bucky, why don't you bring it up to Darce, and I'll be home hopefully sooner rather than later." They said their goodbyes feeling much better than when they picked up the phones.

* * *

 

Bucky planned to tell Darcy the next day, and was walking towards the labs when the windows all blew in. To his terror (for the scientists and Darcy, not himself,) the next sound he heard was a deep, angry roar. He could only assume it was the Hulk. Nothing else crossed his mind but getting the scientists out of there. From what Darce had told him of Jane, she wouldn't leave her equipment to be wrecked by an angry green man. So, she was the first he got out and pushed out of the danger zone. He went back for Darcy, glad to see that Tony had suited up and was battling Bruce while simultaneously trying to calm him down.

He found her knocked against a wall behind Hulk, probably thrown back by his brute strength. Bucky growled at the thought, but pushed it down to find her and urge her out the door and into the hall where medics were waiting.

"Darce, wake up darlin," he brushed his thumb across her right cheek (the left side of her face was covered in a light, but alarming red brush burn,) and whispered her name until she blinked up at him.

"Maybe I'll get knocked unconscious more if I get to wake up to that pretty face each time," she coughed and smiled at him. He chuckled with a shake of his head and sat with her as the medics took her vitals. He'd have to wait to ask her about the important things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based Darcy's look after this picture: http://modeststyle.kopiblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/retro_vintage_fashion.jpg , just in dark blues and black.


	4. Bucky Needs to Read More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three of them have a serious talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a The Fault in our Stars spoiler if you haven't seen it... Beware.

"Aren't you sweet?" Darcy was finally able to leave the medics (a very apologetic Bruce had insisted on being her primary doctor,) and woke up to a smiling Bucky walking into her room with a tray of food. He made his way over to her, trying not to trip on discarded clothes and papers before he sat on the edge of her bed and maneuvered the tray to it wouldn't knock on the hard brace on her left wrist. 

"I do try," she laughed and took a bite of the eggs, smiling at him after.

"Yum! So what brings you in here? I see that look on your face Mister," she winked and he chuckled, bringing his hand up to brush her hair away from her face and leaning in close.

"James Buchanan Barnes. Don't even try," he immediately sat up and scratched his head. Had he made a terrible miscalculation? "I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. Ew." She laughed and it prompted him to relax more and smile back at her again.

"Scared me for a minute there darlin'," she winked and he shook his head at her, leaning in again to kiss her gently on the forehead (to which she rolled her eyes.) "I've been meaning to talk to you about something," he looked at her and she swallowed and sat up.

"So have I." He raised his eyebrows. "But, you first." He shook his head and mimed zipping up his lips. She sighed. "Fine. Frankly, I was just gonna ask you to coffee. (At that, he nodded.) However, in the grand scheme of things, I was going to end up sharing all of my feely feels and freaking you out in the end, so I decided I'd leave out the feelings part."

"Why would I freak out?" She cleared her throat, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Well you're straight..."

"...Are you trying to tell me you're a man? Because I'd have to do a serious check on that. There's no way." She choked and laughed.

"No... no no no no no. No. I mean... Well are you straight?" At this part he cleared his throat.

"I think I've lived long enough and lost enough loved ones to realize that it doesn't matter what parts my partner has for me to love them... So... I guess no but ya know... I'd definitely go for a dame like yourself," his charm was back and he brushed his flesh fingers against her cheekbone (she noticed he kept his metal arm far away from her.)

"I think..." here she grabbed and interlocked fingers with his metal hand. "The same thing. As you say: the parts don't matter," she kissed his cold, smooth knuckles and winked.

"However, I would go for a guy like you." At this he beamed, his smile brightened the room.

"Now, with that out of the way," Darcy got her serious face back on. "You should know I've had a crush on Steve for about sixteen billion years." He nodded seriously and she thought she might have imagined the slight smile gracing his lips. "And I thought you would be easier to convince... Cuz you seem a bit more modern... You know with the pop culture stuff and you weren't like ...dead... for as long. Really though, I'm surprised you're taking everything so well..."

"Stop rambling."

"Right. Well, what do you think of like... A polygamous relationship... Like with me... And Steve. If he'd go for it... Doubtful, but ya know. I can dream."

Bucky was grinning on the inside, but he wanted to tease her just a little bit.

"Yeah, Steve is probably straight as a ruler. Old-fashioned and all that. I mean him and Peggy might have gone steady, so we'd never know." Her face darkened and her lower lip was jutted just enough to make her pout irresistible, and he couldn't hold out much longer. He wanted to make her smile.

* * *

 

"Why don't we call him?" Darcy jerked up.

"No, I don't think that's a good idea... You're probably right. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be greedy. One super soldier is enough for little old me..." But he was already dialing, the ringing on speakerphone silencing Darcy.

"Rogers here." Bucky smiled at how her face brightened.

"Hey, Stevie. You're on speaker with me and Darce here. She had a question." At this she shook her head violently.

"Yeah, go ahead." She groaned, and Bucky laughed, leaving Steve utterly confused.

"Er... Not really a question..." she murmured...  _Come on, Lewis. You're not some shy blushing innocent. Buck up._

"Alright, well I'll ask him."

"No! No, I got it. Jesus, man. Give a girl some time."

"No." He winked. "Steve, Darcy wants to be your steady." Darcy growled at him, and he could only laugh silently.

* * *

 

Steve cleared his throat.

"Er.. sorry?" He  could hear some shuffling on the other end, and then Bucky's lighthearted chuckles.

"Sorry, punk. She's tryin' to hit me. I don't think I was supposed to say that." His laugh was cut off with a growl (the noise went straight to his groin, if he were being honest) that he had to assume was Darcy.

"James. I'll end you." He could hear the electric buzz of her taser and quickly cut in.

"Whoa there! No tasing needed. Please do not kill my best friend. No. And Buck... Stop teasing her." The noises stopped so he had to assume it was resolved. Or Bucky was unconscious. "What's going on."

"I never got to tell Darce what we talked about, and I let her tell me what she wanted to say first. She doesn't think you'll agree."

Steve hears whispers from Darcy. "...Not that he won't agree, but that he won't ever want to talk to me  _again_."

"What's going on? Darcy? Buck?"

"Alright, this is so pitiful, I'll stop. Darcy, Steve and I talked about the same thing last night." Silence from her, so Steve joined in.

"What did Darcy say to you today?"

"That I was interested in a relationship," she groaned. "With both of you. At the same time." And the rambling started.

* * *

 

"I mean Steve... You're... Well... Jeez I can't even form a coherent sentence." Bucky had relocated to sit behind his girl and gently massage her shoulders. "James, you're not helping. I mean you are, but my coherency is at stake. Steve... I mean you and Bucky are best friends, til the end of the line and all that and I wanna be a part of that. We've known each other for months and we've grown very close. Instead of the dynamic duo, which is so mainstream and unoriginal... We can be the Terrific or... nah that's boring. Terrible? Nah. To... Old and Ivan-y. Bucky, what good words start with T?"

"Tinnitus, tears, triceratops, the, tickle, Tony, tentacles-"

"Terrific it is. We can be the terrific trio! Right, and... This sounds more stupid the more I say it," Bucky frowned and wrapped his arms around her middle from behind and nuzzled his face into her shoulder. (She loved it, he was warm and cuddly. The Winter Soldier. Warm and cuddly. That was so going on Tumblr.)

"No, it sounds... Wonderful." She could hear Steve's smile.

"Thank God," she sighed and remembered something. "When will you be back?"

"Ten."

"Ten what? Minutes? Days?  _Months?_ " Darcy groaned. Ten infinities was also quite a long time. She expressed this to Bucky and Steve.

They laughed.

* * *

 

"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities," came Steve's smooth voice from behind them. Darcy whipped around (giving Bucky a face-full of hair.)

"Please tell me you read the book, and didn't just see the movie.

"Of course I read the book. How else would I know that they missed an entire sequence where Augustus and his parents argue because they want to spend time with him before... Ya know."

"What?" Bucky was lost, but his smile returned when Steve gave him a sweaty hug.

"One of the books she mentioned, I cried. By the way. That was awful. I thought Hazel was going to die. I wasn't prepared." He glared at Darcy and noticed her faint blush. He knew phone calls were different then actually addressing the issue, so he stepped up to her and pressed his warm, salty lips to her own honey-flavored ones (he knew she loved tea with honey even more than she loved coffee.) And promptly, pulled away and did the same to a very surprised (yet pleased) Bucky.

"A girl could get used to that sight," they all laughed at that. For once, things were going well.


End file.
